Dark Mistress Belt

I've never been afraid of an accessory.

Until now.

I'm pretty sure it was made out of some medieval torture device. This is a belt that has its own dungeon. And it will not relent until you feel pain.

Fear the belt. It will destroy you.

TopShop Multi Elastic Corset Belt - $44

Safety First

Fasten your seatbelt - it's going to be an unflattering skirt.

Just running down the list of issues with this skirt:

1. It cuts your legs into sections, making them look shorter.

2. Each section is sewn onto the prior one, so none of the panels lie flat.

3. The exposed zipper cuts your body in half, amplifying the widening effect of the horizontal panels.

4. It's a polyester, rayon and spandex blend.

5. My middle school backpack has that same buckle.

Forever 21 Exposed Zip Front Colorblocked Skirt