The Hip Way To Travel

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Forever 21 Airlines, Flight 288 with non-stop service to Unflattering."



Please turn your attention to the flight attendant nearest you for our peplum demonstration. Please follow along with the image in front of you.

Please make sure your peplum is securely fastened at this time. To fasten, firmly affix the ruffles to your midsection. In case of a water landing, the peplum will inflate and serve as a flotation device.

Please take this time to notice that the peplum sits around your waist, rather than on your hips. Keep in mind that it may make you look larger and will at bulk to your waist, traditionally a narrow point on the torso. If you are naturally slim, the peplum may come off as an oddly placed inner tube, rather than additional fabric that adds curves.

As we come through the cabin to perform our final safety checks, please make sure your seatbelt is fastened as best you can over this mass of fabric, your seat back and tray tables are in their full upright and locked position, and all carry on items are stored properly.

Thank you for your attention, and we wish you a good flight on Forever 21 Airlines.

If You're Still Happy And You Know It

Okay, so can someone please explain something to me?



Why did Forever 21 reissue this happy boob sweater dress only three months after it first hit stores? More importantly, why are they selling this again but refusing to sell more of the perfectly lovely crossover jersey dress I bought from them a month ago but shrunk in the wash?

Forever 21 Belted Sweater Dress - $34

Terror in the Skies!

I'm a nerd. I'm a huge, giant nerd. My other blog is about disaster movies. So, that should have been your first hint right there that I am a rock collecting, Bill Nye loving science geek.

Therefore, it is without shame that I post these sweaters and admit that yes, I would absolutely wear them if they were handed to me.

No, really. Come on, it has teradactyls on it! How cool is that? I'd argue that this is well worth the nearly $270 price tag, if for no other reasons than, well, DINOSAURS.

I wouldn't wear this dress with sequined leggings, but I would work very hard to create an outfit around this sweater dress. It's a little devastating to me that it's sold out, because that means I'm going to see women wearing this sweater dress, and I'm not one of them.

I like the solo teradactyl on this - it's a surprisingly simple cardigan, when you consider that it has a giant dinosaur on the back. Normally, if it's Betsey Johnson, I would expect to see lace hems and polka dots and half of Andie's prom dress from Pretty In Pink. But no, it's a very simple cardigan with a teradactyl on it.

I wouldn't wear this sweater, only because I have a very short torso and therefore cropped sweaters do me no favors. If it weren't $230, I'd consider buying it just so I can own an article of clothing that has a dinosaur on it.

Betsey Johnson gets some major points for designing a sweater and a dress with teradactyls on it - and, beyond that, for letting it stand on its own, as a simple statement of awesomeness. That takes bravery, Ms. Johnson, and it has paid off handsomely.

Betsey Johnson Teradactyl Jacquard Sweater Dress - $268
Betsey Johnson Teradactyl Jacquard Cropped Cardigan - $228

It's Not a Phobia, It's a Distaste

You know how on Maury, he'll sometimes bring on people who have irrational fears of things? No? Oh, then do I have some links for you:







Yes, we can all agree, Maury is a terrible human being.

But, apparently Forever 21 knows I have to work out my issue with neutrals, so they're trying to use some good, old-fashioned immersion therapy on me.



I don't care how much they push it on me, I will never like oatmeal, either as a color and as a breakfast food.



This dress is both unflattering and boring, all at the same time. It trisects your body at the widest points, your shoulder line and your hips. But it doesn't even use appropriately hideous colors, that would at least merit a "wow, people wear this shit?" No, it's just kind of ... there. I'm sure it's perfectly passable, and it will sell, and it will be flattering on some people. It's not even all that ugly. It's just so very, very boring. Because it is in varying shades of oatmeal. And oatmeal is really fucking boring.

Forever 21 Wool Blend Dress- $27.90
Love 21 - Fuzzy and cozy color blocked dress made of fine gauge knit fabric with ribbed cap sleeves and pouch pockets.
- 34.5" approx length from high shoulder to hem, 30.5" chest, 28" waist, 3.25" sleeve