Showing posts with label In Their Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label In Their Words. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

MacModel!

You can thank Leilani G. for sending this one to me.

According to the ModCloth website:

For the fierce, iconic supermodel in all of us, these chic sandals by 80%20 show the world you're ready for anything!




It's true - these sandals perfectly convey "I'm ready for anything - I can even MacGyver a pair of shoes out of scraps of suede, leather, and a wooden plank."

And now, I'll be singing the MacGruber theme song all night, except with these lyrics:

MacModel!
Making questionable footwear out of excess bits of fabric.
MacModel!
Wearing them with jumpsuits because Lucky said it looks good.
MacModel!
I question her sartorial judgement.
MacModel!


ModCloth Model Logic Sandal - $114.99

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Professional

Sometimes, ModCloth's descriptions say more about an item of clothing than I ever could.

Like this dress, for example:


You're at your favorite bar, lingering over a chocolate-cherry martini after a long day at the office. You dangle a heel off the tip of your toe, and notice a stylish stranger smiling at you. You smooth the skirt of your inky black sheath, and cinch the patent belt a little tighter. There's no need to be self-conscious, because you know you look good - the cap sleeves accentuate your toned arms, the plum fabric that peeks out at the sweetheart neckline draws attention to your delicate decolletage, and the hidden side zip seals the deal. It's getting late to wait for your mystery admirer to make a move, so you pay your tab, clasp your clutch, and sexily saunter over. Just before exiting, you pull a business card out of the front pocket, slyly smile, and say, "Here's my card. Call me."

Is it just me, or does this sound like the description from a cheesy romance novel?

No, in all seriousness, I had no idea that high class call girls carried cards.

That's what the character in this description is, right? Because I can't imagine wearing a dress to work that scoops down under your breasts, like a harness, and then has special fabric only over your boobs, for maximum "Hey, look at my cleavage!"ness. I don't care what the description says; the neckline is not calling attention to your delicate decolletage. It's like a giant neon sign pointing to your breasts.

This dress wouldn't have made it on the site had the description been about a girl on a date - this isn't an awful dress, depending on the occasion. But I can't imagine this is a work-appropriate neckline - unless you're Serena from Gossip Girl, in which case, this dress is downright demure.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Face the Music

Clearly, I don't get the kids of today.



If I did, maybe I would understand why you would wear Avril Lavigne's giant face on a t-shirt. Or, if I understood kids today, the KISS-style star over her eye would make sense.

"Dare to be different. You'll steal the spotlight wearing this juniors' Abbey Dawn boyfriend tee," says the website. I can't really argue with either of those points. After all, it certainly would be different to wear a t-shirt with Avril Lavigne's giant face on it, given that her whole "punk rock" look hasn't really been new or fresh since 2002. And you will steal the spotlight, as people try to figure out just whose face you're wearing, since it's only identifiable as Avril because it's her own clothing line. I guess you could say she has a big head about herself.

The t-shirt is described as a "boyfriend tee," but quite frankly, if you've stolen this shirt from your boyfriend, you two need to have a serious discussion.

Abbey Dawn Boyfriend Face Tee - was $24, now $12