Forseen Fashions

As a result of writing this blog, I now have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of ugly fashions. After 300+ posts, I remember pretty much everything I've written about. Which is sad, given how much brain space is now devoted to remembering Forever 21's variations on unflattering dresses.

So when I came across these two dresses on ShopBop, they felt more than a little familiar



No, really familiar.

I feel a little bad for making fun of the Forever 21 dress - I thought this was just some random top they'd designed, but apparently they were just a season ahead of the curve. Their ripped dress even has studded embellishments, which actually makes it well worth it's price tag of $29.80.

The cat dresses, on the other hand ... I didn't get it when ModCloth was selling this maxi, and I don't get it now. Giant cat faces, people. On your torso. Even bedazzled, that doesn't make it better. It just makes it reflective and therefore safe for jogging at night.

Which is great, because the only time you should be wearing the a cat dress is at night. If no one sees it, great - they've been spared the mind-boggling confusion of why these dresses exist. If someone does see it, I feel like the "cat face emerging from torso" effect will be amplified by the low light.

Torn by Ronny Kobo Jenny Crystal Cat Tank Dress - $132
Cheap Monday Snake Cutout Tank Dress - $45

Slash and Burn

I am not a fan of leggings. I'm not. I belong to a Facebook group titled, "Leggings Are Not Pants, Cover Your Cooter," started by Reader and Former Roommate Ava. However, in spite of that, I always try to look at each pair of leggings with a fresh eye, in the hopes that I will not find them distasteful.



These leggings do not help that cause.



Let's start off with the fact that they're metallic leggings. That, in and of itself, doesn't thrill me to my core. Add in the fact that the leggings are slashed - is that really necessary? And to have them ripped all over, even on the seat?



Close up, the slashes look diseased, don't they? Like they're actually sores, rather than slashes.

These are not pants. These are not even leggings. These are the rags you use to clean the oven. But they're selling for $19 on Forever 21, which means that more expensive versions exist in the world.

The very concept leaves me flummoxed.



If you'd like to own a pair of these festering sore leggings, they come in not one, but three colors. Yes, three. Because really, the black is only appropriate for more formal occasions, isn't it?

Forever 21 Slashed Metallic Leggings - $19