Pleasant Pheasant

Recently, The Hardest Working Model at ModCloth found her way to the blog. This was very exciting, if for no other reason than because it meant she was a real person, and not some hallucination I'd willed up to entertain myself while looking at some of ModCloth's more unusual offerings.

I also worried, though, that any subsequent posts I made about her and her superheroic abilities to wear strange headgear might seem like pandering. It has, at times, been harder to post about ModCloth, knowing that they read all blogs that mention their site. After all, it's one thing when you're shouting bitchery into the e-byss, it's a whole other bag of nuts* when you know it's actually being read.



Then I saw this picture, and any concerns I had were assuaged. Because the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth is wearing a feathered headband, like a little demi-tribal headdress.

This should be total and utter madness. This headband should be one of those "Wait, really?" moments, where you wonder if the design team is playing a trick on us. But she is so calm, so composed while wearing it, I'm lulled into submission. I accept that of course one would wear a headband covered in feathers. Why not? That seems perfectly reasonable, now that you mention it.

After all, are feathers really so much stranger than anything else we put in our hair? Sometimes, I'll put a fabric-covered rubber band in. A rubber band! By comparison, a feathered headdress seems downright normal, doesn't it?

Dammit. Her serene smile and easy confidence have lured me in once again.

*Yeah, I don't think "bag of nuts" is an expression, but I really like it, so I'm going to start using it in day to day conversation.

ModCloth Pleasant Pheasant Headband - $17.99

Everything Old is New Again

I was wondering the other day what happened to all my old scrunchies, since I can't imagine I would throw them out.

Apparently, Forever 21 has hot glued them onto headbands.

Which is great news, since they're also carrying side-tie shirts again. All I need are some bike shorts and a pair of cokebottle glasses, and I'll look like I did when I was 8.



Forever21 Satin Pouf Headband - $3.80
Forever 21 Side Tie Knit Tunic - $10.80

The Hardest Working Model at ModCloth

I admire this model.

She is wearing a giant floppy knit bow, and yet, she is selling it.

Not to me, obviously, but she's selling it to somebody. I think.

I mean, this is a giant, comically oversized bow. It's so large, I'm actually a little worried it about where it falls on the food chain.* I want to say it's hugging her head with its giant floppy bow arms, but I think it may be trying to devour her head. Which would be unfortunate, because I don't think there's any other model out there who can wear a hat as convincingly as she can. Should someone maybe check on her?

Modcloth Bow It All Headband - $49.99

*If you like things that are at the top of the food chain, you'll love C-List Actors Save Us All, my new disaster and monster movie review blog!

Alienware

You know how sometimes people wear tinfoil on their heads to keep the aliens from reading their minds?

I think this is what you wear if you're trying to pick up alien signals. Or if you can't find anywhere else to put your Direct TV satellite.

Forever 21 Pleated Flower Headbands - $4.80

Hats Off to ModCloth

It's rare that a website actually shows their products on a model. So it's lucky for us that ModCloth has put in the time and money to show us these snappy toppers in action.

First of all, let's give the model credit for maintaining the same demurely amused expression in all three pictures. It must be difficult to maintain such a state of demureness and amusement through a photoshoot. If I were in that situation, it would quickly morph into a bitchily annoyed expression.

These are technically attached to headbands, but they're considered hats on the website, and since they cover at least a third of the head, I think they're technically just hats with limbs.

So, tiny, off-center hats amuse me. They just look comical to me. They're at such a rakish angle, they become cartoonish. The hats aren't sitting on one's head; they're perched.

My thoughts on each are very different - this one, for example, reminds me of a coffee filter.

Initially, I only saw this picture of the hat, and was excited because I thought it would be large, like a giant watercolor sunbonnet. Still kind of ugly, but at least ugly in an awesomely dramatic way. I figured it would look like something someone wore when they sat in their garden in France during the 1800s, painting water lilies alongside Monet. Overdone and kind of ugly, but at least fabulously dramatic.

No, instead it's just shrunken and hovering over the model's face. It just looks ill-fitting, as if she's been instructed by her young niece to wear this tiny doll's hat while they play dress-up.

And this one? Never mind the random sprig of berries, attached to it as an afterthought to make the hat more complex than just "a black disc on a black headband."

On the model, it looks like she's wearing a yarmulke. Not just a yarmulke, but it looks like she's wearing one on the side of her head as a fashion statement, the way guys wore their hats sideways in the 90s.

vs.

It's not just me, right? Does anyone else see it?

ModCloth Fashion Fractal Hat - $77.99
ModCloth Composition VII Hat - $69.99
ModCloth A Berry Sprig Deal Headband - $67.99