Love Bites

Alright, this has gone far enough. I know that kids today are all into Twilight and the tragic romance between a girl and the hunky vampire with sparkly skin who is torn between wanting to love her and wanting to eat her. I get it.




But seriously? No. Vampires make terrible boyfriends. Keep in mind, they're constantly fighting the overwhelming urge to kill you. Because they are.

It's the equivalent of if a lion started dating a gazelle. Yeah, at first he'd be buying the gazelle flowers and chocolates, but after a week or so, he's going to get kind of hungry while they're at that all-grass restaurant the gazelle loves so much, and he's going to start picturing a giant steak where the gazelle is sitting. It's only a matter of time before the lion is going all National Geographic on his gazelle-friend.

So, yeah, Vampires make the best boyfriends, if your criteria for good boyfriend includes "wants to consume me." Never mind the fact that he can't go out in the day time. Yeah, sure, sparkle-skin is great and all, but that's fiction. Everyone knows that vampires can't go into sunlight.

Also, they're really old, so I'm sure you'd have to listen to a lot of "Back when I was human, we had to walk ten miles in the snow" and whatnot. And do you really want to have to explain how the internet works to your boyfriend?

Sure, vampires tend to be hunky (they apparently only like to turn the good-looking ones). And of course it's flattering to be hit on by the undead. But let's be honest here: they are not good boyfriends.

Unless you're really into tragic romances, in which case, you're 15, of course you are, go read Wuthering Heights and write in your LiveJournal about how no one understands you.

Just don't date the undead. Or that weird guy at school who thinks he's a vampire. You're already going to be embarrassed about what you wore back when you were 15; you don't need to be embarrassed about who you dated.

Delia*s Vampire's Boyfriend T-Shirt - $26.50

Haverchic

The first dress is called the "Lady Chatterley Dress," a reference to the scandalous D.H. Lawrence novel about an upper-class woman's affair with a working class man.

Personally, I think this dress is more reminiscent of another famous literary character.



It's like Mrs. Haversham's tattered wedding dress!



As for this, I suppose if Mrs. Haversham is in the market for a tattered wedding dress-esque nightgown, this dress should work just fine.

ModCloth Lady Chatterley Dress - $99.99
ModCloth Behind Every Grey-t Dress - $59.99

The Blinds Leading the Blinds

I love walking through Bed Bath and Beyond and imagining all the great things I can do with their homewares.



Never once have I walked through the window dressing aisle and thought "These Roman Blinds would go splendidly with my racerback tank ... I should make a dress out of them!"



I mean, really, people. Last I checked, it's not the South, we're not in the Reconstruction period, none of us are Scarlett O'Hara, and even if any of this were true, and we were trying to impress Rhett, this dress wouldn't do it.

Forever 21 Ruched Satin Dress - $36

Costume Ideas #16: Lost & Found

Were you hoping to wear a jaunty cap with your Halloween costume this year?

A better dressed Wenda (or Wilma) from Where's Waldo? - or, if you're feeling a little more adventurous, a cross-dressing Waldo.

ModCloth Pom-Pomegranate Hat - $24.99
American Apparel Stripe Pocket Frock - $41