On the Row

I have, of late, become obsessed with playing Saints Row 2. It's a knockoff of Grand Theft Auto, and my addiction has gotten so bad that, whenever I see a nice car, my first thought is: "Is that on my chop shop list?"

One of the things you can do in the game is buy and customize clothing. Because my character has a rockin' body and likes to pistol whip people, I've been dressing her in a fairly skanky manner. Okay, she looks like a ho. But a ho who pistol whips pedestrians.



I'm pretty sure she owns this skirt.

I like the suggestion that you pair it with, "netted tights and statement heels." Because keeping it classy would just be too easy. Then again, I guess if you're wearing this skirt, your only option really is to just go full-force trashy, because come on: it's not even a real leather skirt. They had to kill six Pleathers to make this thing. At least give it the courtesy of pairing it with an appropriately streetwalker-esque ensemble.

Forever 21 Boudoir Leatherette Skirt - $22.80

Turtlenecking

Apparently, my understanding of turtlenecks has been rudimentary at best.



See, I always thought that a person wears a turtleneck in one of two situations. The first being, because it's cold outside. Fairly straightforward. But if that's the case, I'm not sure why it's necessary for a turtleneck to have sleeves that lace up.



Situation two, on the other hand, may shed more light on the situation. Situation two is if one is a character in a sitcom, and you're trying to hide an ill-placed hickey.

In situation two, you will inevitably be in warm weather, and much humor will be derived from trying to explain why you're wearing a turtleneck. If that's the case, lace-up sleeves make perfect sense, as they allow for ventilation and therefore a rudimentary cooling system.

Your demure pose doesn't fool me, Turtleneck Model. I know what you've been up to.

Guess Lace Up Turtleneck - $69