It's Not a Phobia, It's a Distaste

You know how on Maury, he'll sometimes bring on people who have irrational fears of things? No? Oh, then do I have some links for you:







Yes, we can all agree, Maury is a terrible human being.

But, apparently Forever 21 knows I have to work out my issue with neutrals, so they're trying to use some good, old-fashioned immersion therapy on me.



I don't care how much they push it on me, I will never like oatmeal, either as a color and as a breakfast food.



This dress is both unflattering and boring, all at the same time. It trisects your body at the widest points, your shoulder line and your hips. But it doesn't even use appropriately hideous colors, that would at least merit a "wow, people wear this shit?" No, it's just kind of ... there. I'm sure it's perfectly passable, and it will sell, and it will be flattering on some people. It's not even all that ugly. It's just so very, very boring. Because it is in varying shades of oatmeal. And oatmeal is really fucking boring.

Forever 21 Wool Blend Dress- $27.90
Love 21 - Fuzzy and cozy color blocked dress made of fine gauge knit fabric with ribbed cap sleeves and pouch pockets.
- 34.5" approx length from high shoulder to hem, 30.5" chest, 28" waist, 3.25" sleeve

Busted

If this were made by a high-end designer, it would not have shown up on this site.



First of all, because the fabric and quality of the garment would probably be higher, and as a result it wouldn't look cheap. One would hope, anyway.

But second of all, because I'm guessing there'd be more to the dress than just some random petals thrown on the bustline. I actually don't hate the idea - granted, I wouldn't wear it, because the last thing I need to do is add more volume to my chest. However, on a girl with a different shape, it could work.

But that's it. After the petals on the bust, the dress turns right back into a very, very boring tank dress. I'd almost rather see the whole dress have that petal pattern on it, just for the sake of interest. Because once you move past the bustline, this dress is remarkably boring. And that, beyond all else, is the worst thing you can do with clothes. At least if it's hideous, some effort and creativity probably went into it. But if it's boring? That's just laziness.

Forever 21 Petal Bust Dress - $29