A Threat to Bad Taste

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Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

I woke up this morning to an email from Google telling me my AdSense account has been suspended. AdSense was the way I had planned on getting revenue from the site (and, over the last five months, it's earned me about $40 from your ad clicks - I'll never see the check now, but I really appreciate that you guys clicked the ads).

I appealed the decision, but this was the response they sent me. So, that sucks. Anyone know any other advertising services I can use?

Here's the thing I want to stress: this blog is meant in good humor. I wouldn't post about any of these sites if I didn't surf them regularly because I like their clothes. I've posted repeatedly about stuff I like. As several of my friends can attest to, I was downright giddy when I saw ModCloth had commented for the first time, because I have nothing but respect for the people who work there - even if I do post about them a lot.

And I do. I post about them regularly, because I'm on their site all the time. If I weren't unemployed and sharing a tiny closet with a guy who owns more clothes than I do, I'd be buying frilly dresses from them.

I know I'm not the only one, either. And I know that at least a couple of you have started going to ModCloth because I've posted about it here. I'm guessing that, when I post about a terrible shirt at Forever 21, at least a handful of you head over there and end up surfing through the site, because no press is bad press.

I'm not saying the clothes spontaneously combust; I'm not saying the retailers overcharge. I'm just saying that sometimes, they sell ugly clothes. I doubt that anyone here has not bought something I've posted, purely because I posted it. And if you have - well, I'm shocked that I have that much power over someone, because no one should ever listen to me about anything.

I'm just frustrated, because the last thing I want is to be considered malicious. By taking away my AdSense account, that's what Google's decided I am, and that kind of sucks. They also banned my account on my other blog, C-List Actors Save Us All. So, like I said before: anyone know a good advertising service?

I don't write the thing for ad revenue, I write it because people actually read it. It just sucks because it feels like the blog was picking up steam, and now it's just been kicked in the shins.

Thanks for reading. Seriously.

- Amanda

An Addendum On Houndstooth

Hey, remember when a reader found the blog by Googling "Will a houndstooth skirt make me look fat?"

I said that it would not, and that the reader should go for it.



I just want to point out, for the sake of clarification: skirts. Go for a houndstooth skirt or dress. Do not go for houndstooth skinny pants. Especially not ones made by Avril Lavigne and sold at Kohl's. Because these are bad. These are really, really bad. Kohl's won't even show the back of the pants, they're so unflattering.

So, dear Kentucky reader, these will make you look fat. These will make everyone look fat. These make the mannequin look fat. Don't take it personally. Put on a houndstooth skirt and feel like Blair Waldorf for a day. But for the love of headbands, please don't wear these pants.

Abbey Dawn Houndstooth Skinny Pants - $24

Please Stop Avril Before Someone Gets Hurt

I ... so ... these are real.



People. These pants are real. They once sold for $50. Kohl's seems to think that they'll sell for $20.

They have zigzags in black and white. With random bursts of color. I have a migraine just from trying to get my eyes to focus. Can you imagine these in motion? They'd be seizure-inducing. People would fall victim to your legs as you walk down the street.



I don't know why I even posted the back - it's not as if these pants are going to get any better from behind. I guess I posted them to convince myself that these are real, because I have a naive hope that they're a very early April Fools joke.

But no. These are actually pants that are for sale. That someone, somewhere - some misguided teen who actually thinks that Kohls is the official retailer for punk - has purchased these.

If you see a teen on the street wearing these pants, take them under your wing. Play some Ramones for them. Explain that this is punk. Explain that Complicated is not. Show them that punk is not just wearing a tie.

And, for the love of God, buy them some solid pants so that you can, together, burn these abominations.

Abbey Dawn Zigzag Skinny Pants - $19.20

As Real As She Is

This shirt is about as authentically punk as Avril Lavigne.



Which is to say, as punk as you can get from shopping at Kohl's.

I understand shirts that are faux-layered (ie: a sweater with a button-down collar attached) because it's so hard to get that look through normal layering. However, wearing a shirt with pre-attached suspenders is just lame. Go through the extra step of buying and wearing suspenders, if you're going for the "I'm a punk" thing. Just do it. Otherwise, you're stuck tucking in your shirt, or wearing a t-shirt that has built-in suspenders, and the whole thing is just trying so hard. Which is right up Ms. Lavigne's alley, because if there's one thing she's consistently done through her whole career, it's try way, way too hard.

Despite all my criticisms, I would pay to see Larry King in this on a Casual Friday.

Abbey Dawn Drama Queen Suspender Tunic - $36 $18

Avril Lavigne is Totally Still Relevant

It's tough going back to school. You have to start waking up before noon, the required reading isn't a Teen Beat article on the Jonas brothers, and you have to find the perfect outfit to express that you are an individual, unlike all those preppy sheep. The dark nail polish and bangs in your face just won't cut it any more.

Luckily, Kohl's has anticipated your needs, and is the official retailer for Avril Lavigne, the original punk.

You can "rock" this outfit for your first day of class.




Nothing says "I rebel against societal mores" like a sewn-on tie, zebra stripe, and shorts that will inevitably make your legs look like stumpy plaid sausages.

Kohl's Abbey Dawn Zebra Shirt Set
Abbey Dawn Plaid Bermuda Shorts