Water Landing

Whenever I fly, I always think to myself, "It's too bad I can't put together a cute outfit that would also be useful in the case of a water landing." Floaties are too cumbersome, and wetsuits aren't particularly comfortable or figure-flattering.



Fortunately, Forever 21 has designed a skirt that, in the event of a water landing, you can keep your valuables - and your sense of style - dry. Yes, this chic plastic skirt, with its practical rope ties, will make you the envy of frequent fliers everywhere.

Forever 21 Petticoat Cargo Skirt - $19.80

Humboldt Hips

I'm trying to figure out who Topshop is designing these dresses for.

I can't imagine that skinny girls would want to wear something that so heavily detracts from their thinness, and I can promise you that girls with hips don't want to throw giant flaps of fabric on that only serve to accentuate wider hips.

So, as far as I can tell, the only person who would wear a style like this is someone who's trying to attract men with a squid fetish, such as this guy:



Topshop Anna Rose Cowl Neck Dress - $90
Topshop Stripe Peplum Jersey Minidress - $80
Topshop Taffeta Prom Dress - $100

Toga to Tango

I'm not sure if Bebe was inspired by the Romans, beauty pageants, or by arm injuries. Either way, the result is the same:



The danger with wearing pockets on a dress is that you're naturally going to want to put your hands in the pockets, which looks kind of ridiculous and ruins the lines of the dress.

The danger with a sash is that you're going to use it in lieu of a purse, or to hide appetizers for later. And while yes, it would be a brilliant way to snag extra pigs in a blanket at a cocktail party ... wait, I forgot the down side. Sorry.



Oh, right. She sure does look sassy for a woman who is wearing a dress designed to look like she accidentally tucked the hem into it.

Bebe Stone Beaded Draped Halter Dress - $76.99