I Choose You, Pokeboob!

What does this top remind me of?



It's so familiar ... I can't quite place it ...



Oh, right. They give your boobs anime eyes. Man, that was driving me crazy.

By the by, never wear this. Or, if you do, don't complain about how no one is making eye contact with you. They're making eye contact, just not with your eyes.

Hollister & Co. Belleflower - $29.50

If You're Happy and You Know It

You can thank my friend Little Emily for this one. She took a break from studying to find this mess.

One of my big issues with clothes is that I have to pay close attention to the bust line. If I'm not careful, my chest will stretch out the designs of the shirt or dress, making it look really weird. And, often, the pattern ends up giving my boobs some sort of anthropomorphic look.

In this case, my breasts won't need the help. Even with a small-chested model, the arcing white and black stripes give the appearance of eyebrows, making her breasts seem moderately amused. I don't know why, but paired with the big black bow, the dress makes me think of an anime character.

It should also be noted that this dress has vertical pleats, pockets, and a gathered banded hem. So, basically, it's designed to flare out as much as possible around your hips and thighs before constricting again around your legs. Yeah, there's no way this could possibly be unflattering.

Forever 21 Belted Sweater Dress - $34