WTF KFC

I can think of only one situation in which this present would be an appropriate gift.



If you know a man who is related to, or a fan of, Colonel Sanders.

Of course, that's a very, very small niche, so I guess the makers of this tie expect other people to buy it. Which is absurd, because seriously, when is this an appropriate accessory? When has anyone, other than the Colonel, ever looked at their shirt and thought, "What I'm missing is a Western Tie"? Even the model looks unhappy to be wearing it, and he's getting paid.

Timo Western Tie in Black & White Polka Dots - $60

Bow Out

When I first saw this, I thought to myself, "Hm. That's a weird dress." Then I realized, to my horror, that no - the giant floppy bow isn't part of the dress at all.



It's an accessory that you can buy separately, then choose to pair with what would otherwise be a perfectly lovely outfit. The giant bow would drive me nuts because I'd feel it under my chin, or my hair would get caught on it all the time.



Why would you throw a heavy black bow onto this? It looks like a cute, light dress. That black bow is the sartorial equivalent of a giant anchor. How come women's magazines always advise you not to wear heels with an ankle strap, but they never warn you about wearing giant black bows with white lacy dresses? Oh, right, because it goes without saying.

But what really kills me is that they could have given the model a perfect Blair Waldorf look by accessorizing with this silver bow pendant, rather than an actual giant bow.



Right? All it's missing is a headband, brightly colored tights, and an awesome eastern European housekeeper/sidekick.

Timo Bowtie Bib in Copper Brown Satin - $65
Timo Bowtie Bib in Black Satin - $71
In God We Trust Cutout Bow - $101