ANTM Meets AA

I try not to comment on celebrity fashion, as there are sites that do it far better than I. However, I saw this billboard today for the new cycle of America's Next Top Model, and I had to share it.



I have just one question: when did American Apparel start sponsoring America's Next Top Model?

America's Next Top Model - Wednesdays at 8pm on the CW

Forever 21 Presents: Leggings of Love

Did I miss some sponsorship deal that makes Forever 21 the official legging purveyor for "Rock of Love" and "Daisy of Love"? Because that is the only reasonable explanation I can find for some of the spandex/polyester blends they sell.



Glitter Liquid Cheetah Leggings: Because if they were just glitter, just liquid, or just cheetah-print, or any combination of two, that wouldn't be sufficient.



Ruffle Bottom Leggings: Because who doesn't want to look like they have festively dressed turkey legs?



Fringed Leggings: What Lindsey Lohan would wear if she were sent back in time to the wild west with Doc Brown.



Back Ruffled Leggings: Who doesn't want to draw attention to their ass while wearing skin-tight clothes? There is no possible way this could ever be unflattering!



Cire Leggings: Tight, shiny leggings with cutouts down the legs. It's like they're trying to find as many ways as possible for fat to be squeezed out of these.

Forever 21 Glittered Liquid Cheetah Leggings - $9.80
Forever 21 Fringed Leggings - $22
Forever 21 Back Ruffled Leggings - $22
Forever 21 Cire Leggings - $26

An Egregious Use of Spandex

I know that, in the six posts I've made so far, the bulk have been about Forever 21. I felt kind of bad about it, and worried that I might hurt the store's feelings.

Then I saw this:

Faux-denim leggings. With zippers on the bottoms. And no pockets. Because they are leggings. Faux-denim leggings.

Not convinced? Let's see the back:

When shopping online, I follow two simple rules:

1) Only buy it if the site offers free returns

2) If it looks bad on the mannequin, it's not going to be any better on you.

The mannequins are molded plastic designed to be as perfectly shaped as humanly possible. They are engineered to make the clothes look good.

So if the mannequin looks like it's rocking a giant, flat ass while wearing skintight mom jeans, odds are, you will not fare any better.

That's not going to stop any number of women from buying this 98% cotton, 2% spandex atrocity. I remember when people wore these the first time around, in the 90s, and it was as wrong then as it is now.

Why does Forever 21 hate the world, that they keep inflicting clothing like this on it? Why?

Pocketless Zipper Ankle Pant