Forseen Fashions

As a result of writing this blog, I now have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of ugly fashions. After 300+ posts, I remember pretty much everything I've written about. Which is sad, given how much brain space is now devoted to remembering Forever 21's variations on unflattering dresses.

So when I came across these two dresses on ShopBop, they felt more than a little familiar



No, really familiar.

I feel a little bad for making fun of the Forever 21 dress - I thought this was just some random top they'd designed, but apparently they were just a season ahead of the curve. Their ripped dress even has studded embellishments, which actually makes it well worth it's price tag of $29.80.

The cat dresses, on the other hand ... I didn't get it when ModCloth was selling this maxi, and I don't get it now. Giant cat faces, people. On your torso. Even bedazzled, that doesn't make it better. It just makes it reflective and therefore safe for jogging at night.

Which is great, because the only time you should be wearing the a cat dress is at night. If no one sees it, great - they've been spared the mind-boggling confusion of why these dresses exist. If someone does see it, I feel like the "cat face emerging from torso" effect will be amplified by the low light.

Torn by Ronny Kobo Jenny Crystal Cat Tank Dress - $132
Cheap Monday Snake Cutout Tank Dress - $45

Shredded What?

Back when I was gainfully employed, I loved to bring all my old receipts into the office so I could shred them on the industrial shredder. You could put in fistfulls of receipts. It was great. That and ordering Post-Its on Staples.com, those were two of the great joys at that job.



But sometimes, I would get a little overzealous, or the shredder would already be full, and it would stop mid-shred. I would press the reverse button, and out would come my AmEx bill, torn into strips halfway up.

It never occurred to me that I could run a shirt through the shredder and sell it.

Hollister & Co. Harbor Cove - $9.95

Wolf Like Me

Apparently, this is a top. It is not, as I erroneously thought, the shredded corpse of a top.



My best guess is that Forever 21 is trying to draw in teenagers by subtly reminding them of werewolves, and subsequently, the Twilight series. Although, that's a pretty big gamble, because you run the risk of alienating all the girls who aren't on Team Jacob.

Personally, I'm on Team Phillip, but that's because I like my men with a healthy fear of fire, and green's totally my color.



Forever 21 lash Beaded Knit Top - $29.80