In the Club

This was submitted by Irene L. over on the Facebook fan page.



I get that this is probably "club wear," which falls into a whole other category of things I wouldn't wear, and I'm sure it's considered the height of stylishness at raves or something.

As a non-rave attending layperson, though, my thoughts on the top aren't particularly positive. Initially, I thought that the top reminded me of something an alien would wear on Star Trek. I think it's the neck collar.

But, the more I stared at it, the more concerned I became for the health and safety of the model, as it appeared the top was rebelling against the wearer and choking her. It kind of looks like the sleeve is reaching up and throttling the model, right?

Just me?

Well, even if I were one to wear clubwear (which I'm not, since the dress code for studying geology and sitting around my apartment is casual), I'd still steer clear of this top ... just to be safe.

ChicStar Sexy Asymetric One-Shoulder Top - $24.95

Forseen Fashions

As a result of writing this blog, I now have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of ugly fashions. After 300+ posts, I remember pretty much everything I've written about. Which is sad, given how much brain space is now devoted to remembering Forever 21's variations on unflattering dresses.

So when I came across these two dresses on ShopBop, they felt more than a little familiar



No, really familiar.

I feel a little bad for making fun of the Forever 21 dress - I thought this was just some random top they'd designed, but apparently they were just a season ahead of the curve. Their ripped dress even has studded embellishments, which actually makes it well worth it's price tag of $29.80.

The cat dresses, on the other hand ... I didn't get it when ModCloth was selling this maxi, and I don't get it now. Giant cat faces, people. On your torso. Even bedazzled, that doesn't make it better. It just makes it reflective and therefore safe for jogging at night.

Which is great, because the only time you should be wearing the a cat dress is at night. If no one sees it, great - they've been spared the mind-boggling confusion of why these dresses exist. If someone does see it, I feel like the "cat face emerging from torso" effect will be amplified by the low light.

Torn by Ronny Kobo Jenny Crystal Cat Tank Dress - $132
Cheap Monday Snake Cutout Tank Dress - $45

4 8 15 16 23 42

You know you watch too much Lost when ...



You see this t-shirt and your first thought is, "I wonder if they have a Team Smoke Monster?"

Delia*s Team Jacob Tee - $26.50

Just Like I'm On Dynasty

If ShopBop is any indication, a big trend this spring is dresses with one long, draped sleeve.



This trend would not work for me. It would swallow me whole.



I don't dislike it, though. No, if I could, I would wear these dresses all the time, specifically so I could punctuate statements with dramatic arm gestures.

"You must come visit us in the Hamptons this year. No, you simply must."


"Darling, trust me. There's nothing a good pool boy can't fix."


"It's like my third husband always said, 'Honey, did you drink all the gin?'"

A.L.C. Capelet Dress with Belt - $343 $240.10
Haute Hippie One Shoulder Swing Dress - $345
Issa Long Sleeve Long Dress - $734
Riller & Fount Fiona Mini Dress with Kimono Sleeve - $150
Alice & Olivia Elyse One Shoulder Dress - $330 $99

Friday Feets

I spend a lot of time shopping online for clothes and shoes. I also have this Amazon account where, if people buy through this site - or even click through to the products - I get money. So, yes, this is part of my ongoing attempt at actually managing to make some money off the internet.

But it's also a chance to post shoes. And does one really need an excuse for it?

So, here's my latest attempt: Friday Feet, the first installment.

First up: these Jessica Simpson flats. Like I said before, I tried really hard to hate Jessica Simpson's clothing and shoe lines, but I can't do it. Yeah, the giant bow is a little too precious for my taste, but I love the studs.


I actually got these the other day during a burst of "It's spring!" shopping. I bought them in pink from Boomingdales, but if you're interested in the black or white, they're available at Endless.com by clicking on the image.

And finally ...


Yes. They're expensive. But I've become obsessed of late with finding a good pair of nude platform round-toe heels (I'm very specific), and these are the nude platform round-toe heels I've been dreaming of for weeks. These shoes are the reason I'm posting these shoes ... in the hopes that enough of you will click through and buy, so that I may click through and buy, and then wear these shoes everywhere, regardless of how appropriate it is.

So, there you have it. Friday Feets. Love it? Hate it? Should I delete the post and scrub all mention of it from the history books?

Let me know in the comments, via email, or on the fan page. And if you have any suggestions for next week's, pass them along, too.

Chad, The Performing Arts Major

Stella McCartney is high-end to the point where I don't know much about her designs. So, here is what I do know:

1. She designed clothes for BabyGap and GapKids, including a series of dresses so cute, they make me wish I were 11 years old. And I don't think I'm alone, given that all the XL and XXL sizes are sold out.

2. She doesn't use leather or fur in her designs, so Natalie Portman likes her a lot (I don't know how I know this).

3. She apparently designs a line of what appears to be costumes for performance artists.



Come on. Can't you just imagine that guy from your college wearing this? You know the one. His name's probably something like "Chad," he claims he's from New York City but he's actually from Westchester, and all the girls in his high school thought he was like, way deep. He would have been a beat poet 50 years ago, but since he can't do that, he does spoken word performance art in a turtleneck jumpsuit.

As a side note, this is wool. Wool. I feel hot and itchy just looking at it.

Stella McCartney Purple Wool Turtleneck Jumpsuit - $479.99

Just Call Me Grumpy Bear

I always find it hardest to dress for spring. The weather shifts back and forth, it's warm in the sun but freezing in the shade, all your warm weather clothes are still packed away and you don't feel like going through it all.



And because of the flow of air currents, sometimes your upper midriff gets hot while your arms are freezing.



Don't give me that look, ShopBop Model Who Kind of Looks Like Amanda Peet. I'm just saying, the long sleeves and bare midriff make me wonder if you've got some weird heating issues.

Ooh, unless you're a Care Bear and you don't want to limit your abilities to participate in a good Care Bear Stare. In which case, ignore everything I've said about body temperature. It all makes sense now.

Porter Grey Tie Waist Shirtdress with Cutout - $385