These Boots Weren't Made For Walking

I'm not a big fan of the peep-toe bootie. So it's not shocking that I would post these.



I'm sure people will wear these, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. For this post, let's ignore the obvious: these are lace-up, with a buckle, hitting around the ankle. I just want to focus on one thing:

These boots would rub your feet wrong in at least four places. The unleather would give you blisters so epic, Grey's Anatomy would do an entire episode based around them. They would base a character on you, and she would be inoffensively quirky, give impassioned speeches with excessive repetition, and she would teach at least one of the doctors a very important lesson that happens to coincide with the doctor's storyline for the week.

And let's be honest: you, or Fictional You, do not need to get anywhere near the insanity of Seattle Grace. It's with that in mind that I suggest you not buy or wear these shoes.

Unless Fictional You ends up with a multi-episode arc, in which case you stand an equally good chance of: hooking up with a main character, dying after touching the lives of each character, or going balls to the wall crazy. Or some combination of the three. I'd say the odds aren't in your favor, but if you want to take the risk, go for it.

But if it ends up on Grey's, I want a "Story By" credit.

Forever 21 Peep Toe Workman Bootie - $34.80

Future-trama

From the Zappos description: Set the tone for what the world is coming to with these futuristic ankle boots from Betsey Johnson.



Look, I watched a lot of Jetsons when I was a kid. I remember there was a sassy robot maid, a cool treadmill thing for dog walking, and the houses were in the sky.

I do not remember anything about ugly metallic peep-toe booties. That is not the future that I signed on for. In fact, the future I was expecting had about 98% fewer booties, and 100% more flying cars.

So no, Zappos. I will not "set the tone for what the world is coming to." If the world is to be dominated by peep-toed booties, I will fight it with every fiber of my being. Do you hear me? With every fiber of my being.

Betsey Johnson Capri Booties - $160 (was $299)

The Brightest Outfit in the Box

These two pieces create such a remarkably loud outfit, I had to post them.




Could the green top be tempered by a pair of dark jeans? Yes. Could the hot pink leggings work in a vaguely Clarissa Explains It All kind of way? Yes. But where's the fun in that? Pair these with these (not hideous) ankle booties, and you're good to go.



Arden B. Ruffle Front Keyhole Top - $38
Forever 21 Paint Splatter Leggings - $9.80
Forever 21 Heeled Ankle Booties - $27.80