These Boots Weren't Made For Walking

I'm not a big fan of the peep-toe bootie. So it's not shocking that I would post these.



I'm sure people will wear these, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. For this post, let's ignore the obvious: these are lace-up, with a buckle, hitting around the ankle. I just want to focus on one thing:

These boots would rub your feet wrong in at least four places. The unleather would give you blisters so epic, Grey's Anatomy would do an entire episode based around them. They would base a character on you, and she would be inoffensively quirky, give impassioned speeches with excessive repetition, and she would teach at least one of the doctors a very important lesson that happens to coincide with the doctor's storyline for the week.

And let's be honest: you, or Fictional You, do not need to get anywhere near the insanity of Seattle Grace. It's with that in mind that I suggest you not buy or wear these shoes.

Unless Fictional You ends up with a multi-episode arc, in which case you stand an equally good chance of: hooking up with a main character, dying after touching the lives of each character, or going balls to the wall crazy. Or some combination of the three. I'd say the odds aren't in your favor, but if you want to take the risk, go for it.

But if it ends up on Grey's, I want a "Story By" credit.

Forever 21 Peep Toe Workman Bootie - $34.80

Clothes From the Blog In Action

Thanks to Ava, who has her pulse on Manhattan's subway fashions, for sending this in:



Here you can see not one, but two different styles featured previously on the site:

The Peep Toe Bootie


I have to say, the look works here. I don't get it, and recognize that I could never make this work. However, here, it actually kind of looks good. Despite the fact that, from a basic practicality standpoint, these still bewilder me.

And the second style, The Iridescent Striped Suit:


As any fashionable subway rider knows, half of fashion is reinterpretation. Here, he's paired his vest with a pair of jeans for a more casual look. It's nice to see him taking to heart Stacy & Clinton's advice to mix and match suit pieces for a more versatile wardrobe. Luckily for us, though, he decided to keep the matching fedora.

Form Follows Function

Form follows function. It's a simple principle: that the shape of a building (or, in this case, a shoe) should be based on the purpose of the building/shoe.

Why is this concept so difficult for shoe designers to grasp as we head into the fall?





Peep toe boots. Seriously?

I think we can all agree that the primary purpose of a boot is to keep one's feet and ankles warm and dry during the less temperate months. There are other purposes - to look like a badass, to put those scraps of cow hide to good use - but the primary is to keep feet warm and dry.

This cannot be accomplished with peep toes. The most difficult thing about boots is keeping your toes warm when it's cold out. There is no reason to have your toes hanging out. Even when it's warm, there's no reason to cover your entire foot and ankle with leather, only to have your toes exposed like a hobo who has worn through his last pair of shoes. It's just not necessary.



And even worse, the combination shootie/peep toe. I hate the shootie. Hate it. Violently. It either makes you look like you're on your way to the Neverland Transvestite Ball, or like you have cloven hooves.

It's not even a real boot! It's a hybrid cop-out. It's what you wear when you think, "Hm, I sort of feel like wearing a boot, but I'm not really committed to the idea. Plus, the top of my arch is just so sexy, I'd like to keep it exposed." And this is not actually a thought sane people have.

As a change of pace, these are all crazy expensive, as opposed to the bargain-basement Forever 21 selections normally featured. If you're itching to drop $400+ on a pair of shoes, the links are below ... but, I'd advise you to spare yourself and others. Instead, spend the $400+ on a worthwhile cause, like buying me these:




Giuseppe Zanotti I97071 - $760
Marc by Marc Jacobs 694905 - $465
Giuseppe Zanotti I96070 - $650
Betsey Johnson Calandra - $150
Betsey Johnson Caitlin - $200