Pleasant Pheasant

Recently, The Hardest Working Model at ModCloth found her way to the blog. This was very exciting, if for no other reason than because it meant she was a real person, and not some hallucination I'd willed up to entertain myself while looking at some of ModCloth's more unusual offerings.

I also worried, though, that any subsequent posts I made about her and her superheroic abilities to wear strange headgear might seem like pandering. It has, at times, been harder to post about ModCloth, knowing that they read all blogs that mention their site. After all, it's one thing when you're shouting bitchery into the e-byss, it's a whole other bag of nuts* when you know it's actually being read.



Then I saw this picture, and any concerns I had were assuaged. Because the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth is wearing a feathered headband, like a little demi-tribal headdress.

This should be total and utter madness. This headband should be one of those "Wait, really?" moments, where you wonder if the design team is playing a trick on us. But she is so calm, so composed while wearing it, I'm lulled into submission. I accept that of course one would wear a headband covered in feathers. Why not? That seems perfectly reasonable, now that you mention it.

After all, are feathers really so much stranger than anything else we put in our hair? Sometimes, I'll put a fabric-covered rubber band in. A rubber band! By comparison, a feathered headdress seems downright normal, doesn't it?

Dammit. Her serene smile and easy confidence have lured me in once again.

*Yeah, I don't think "bag of nuts" is an expression, but I really like it, so I'm going to start using it in day to day conversation.

ModCloth Pleasant Pheasant Headband - $17.99

The Plaid Hatter

I love how deadpan the model looks in this picture.



I imagine that they didn't warn her beforehand what she would be modelling in this shoot. She got all made up, they checked the lights, and then wardrobe ran out at the last minute and put the hat on her head.

"Seriously?" she said. "I have to wear this? It's a plaid baseball hat. This is ridiculous. No one is going to buy this. Yes, I know I'm getting paid to wear it. Whatever, fine. Just take the damn picture."

RVCA Ranger Plaid Hat - $19

Crazy Eyes

I've often sung the praises of the ModCloth hat model, the hardest working model they have. She normalizes even the most absurd hats with a serene look and an impressive dose of smize.

If models are superheroes, then I think this model is her arch-nemesis.



This is Crazy Eyes the eDress Me Model. Her superpower is a stare that burrows deep into your soul and scares the crap out of you.



No, seriously. That is the unblinking stare of the unbalanced. I can't even focus on the dress she's wearing, because I'm afraid to look away. Although, does she draw her powers from the giant headband wrapped around her forehead? That's the only reasonable explanation I can find for why she's wearing a giant headband with most of the dresses.



Oh, thank god, she's finally looked away. This dress actually isn't too bad; the first one appears to be the worst of the three. But it's really hard to get to past the crazy eyes to actually examine the dresses. This is one of those cases where the model just takes away from the dress, because she's so totally the focus of the pictures.

And now I'm kind of afraid she's going to come after me. On the up side, I have enough guy friends who are drawn to the crazy that I can probably distract her with a good-looking hipster.



Oh no, she's looking back at me, and she doesn't seem happy. Hi, Model With Totally Sane Eyes. I like your bandannas. And your penchant for dramatic poses. Big fan. Really.

Ok, I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't lie. The only things crazier than your eyes are the poses you strike in those dresses. Hell, that first dress is less crazy-looking than you are, and it's a tie-dyed kimono.

Congratulations. You're crazier than a tie-dyed kimono. That takes a lot of work. Although, in your case, you make it look effortless.

Alberto Makali Tye Dyed Kimono Dress - $197
Alberto Makali Red Cocktail Dress - $219
Alberto Makali Abstract Print Cocktail Dress - $248
Alberto Makali Print Blouse - $98

The Dressmaker

Aw, cheer up, glum eDress Me model!



I know your Mentos moment didn't go as planned, but at least you have minty-fresh breath!

eDress Me Black Jersey and Lace Dance Dress - $238 $190.40