Free the Feet

Okay, until the other day, I had absolutely no idea that Free People sells the ugliest shoes in the world.

And they do. These are a close second to the Slouchy Clogs of Doom posted on Friday.



It's nice that they've provided such sturdy ankle support when wearing a high wedge like that. Well, it's either sturdy ankle support, or these are actually straight jackets for your feet.



These, much like the Slouchy Clogs of Doom, are styled with a pair of shorts. Look, if it's hot enough out that you're wearing shorts, maybe you shouldn't be wearing a heavy leather shoe.



I doubt these shoes breathe much, and you're not wearing socks with them (please, don't wear socks with them, that'd be even worse). So basically, when you wear these shoes as styled, you're subjecting your feet to an entire day of being submerged in a sweat bath while wearing a straight jacket. That's just not right to do to your feet.

Your feet haven't done anything to you. They allow you to move from place to place. Without them, your calves would look really weird. If you're Uma Thurman, it's the reason Quentin Tarantino keeps casting you in movies.

Your feet still love you after you've walked too far in uncomfortable shoes. They love you if you go a month without a pedicure, until your toenail polish has entirely chipped off. Even if you stub your toe, your foot heels back up as quickly as it can, so it can keep on working for you.

So why would you do this to your feet? With all they've done for you, don't you think you owe it to them to not wear this shoes?

Free People Arrowhead Wedge - $248

Why Did Someone Make These?

These shoes have to go after the jump. They're that bad. In fact, if you want to maintain your innocence, I would recommend you don't click through. It's too late for me, because you can't unsee these. It's the footwear-equivalent of the Ring tape.

So, proceed with caution.