Friday, October 16, 2009

Another Public Service Announcement

Alright. Everyone gather round and take a knee. I'm going to put forth a scenario.

Let's say you're dating a guy, and you see that he has a box of these sitting in his drawer:



Your first instinct may be to feel alarm. Take a few deep breaths and wait for the nausea to pass. Level-headedness must prevail in a situation such as this one.

Now, locate your nearest exit. A door is ideal. Use a window only in the event that a door is inaccessible. Please exercise your own judgement in such cases.

Once you feel the cool air of freedom, run. Run as fast as you can. Change your cell phone number, ignore his emails, fake your own death. Whatever you need to do so as to never speak to this Ed Hardy boxer wearing douchebag, do it. Not just for yourself, but for all of us. The fewer men who are rewarded for wearing Ed Hardy, the better. That is the only way we can destroy Ed Hardy for good: by punishing those who wear it.

And, unfortunately, caning for dressing like a d-bag is not allowed in our society.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, OH! BOXER SHORTS.

    Thank God.

    I thought they were Ed Hardy condoms. -_-

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nope. Boxers. Not much better, though. However, I'm pretty sure that the guys who wear Ed Hardy are the same ones who claim that they can't wear condoms because they're too tight.

    ReplyDelete