Sunday, April 18, 2010

Movin' On Up

Much as I have enjoyed my time here at Blogger, I'm moving over to Wordpress, where I don't have to live in fear that Google is going to decide my blog is a threat to its advertisers. So, if you're here and looking for new posts, head over to


Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Feets - Ballet Flats

Since no one kicked and screamed about last week's Friday Feets (not even about the ridiculous name), here we go with week 2.

Last week, Jaclyn asked me to find a pair of comfortable flats. I haven't tried any on personally, but I checked customer reviews on some different sites to track these down.

Okay, I checked the reviews for some of them. I couldn't find any reviews for these, but let's look at this critically: they're $20. They're studded. They have rubber soles, which provides a little bit of cushioning.

Oh, also, Endless has free shipping and free returns. So if the shoes suck, you can get your money back with a quickness.

These are another pair I couldn't find any reviews of, but they're Aerosoles, and I have yet to have a bad experience with Aerosoles. Their heels defy the common belief that heels have to be painful to look good, so I have a hard time believing that these shoes will be anything but comfortable.

From Maria Sharapova's collection for Cole Haan. I've tried on other pairs from the Air series, and they all have good cushioning and support. Plus, the reviews on appear to be unanimously positive, especially because of their comfort.

These don't have the glowing reviews of the Cole Haans, but several reviews cited that the shoes are wide. Jaclyn mentioned she had wide feet, so I'm including these in the event that she's reading this post. They don't have great arch support, but if you're crazy about the shoes, you can always buy an insole.

As for these ... they're expensive, but oh man, they're cute. I love those abstract flowers. They're kind of funky, and a great bit of floral detailing without getting too precious.

Anyone have any experience with these? Or do you have a pair of flats you love? Pass it along in the comments!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm Confused

I am not ashamed to admit it.

I do not understand this tank top. I'm completely lost. I've even googled the phrase "Life on the moon isn't easy," but nothing came up. What the hell does it mean?

I feel like I'm looking at a New Yorker cartoon. That's how confused I am.

Why do these women not have eyebrows or noses? Why are they talking about how hard it is to live on the moon? Do they live on the moon? Are they considering moving to the moon? What makes living on the moon hard? Is it the lack of atmosphere and weak gravitational pull? The absence of water? The fact that it's a three day commute to get to the nearest mall? Is there a high crime rate on the moon? Is the unemployment rate on the moon skyrocketing? Are you bored of the amusement park?

I'm not arguing that living on the moon isn't hard, but that's mostly because, as far as I'm aware, one cannot live on the moon. Since, apparently, these women are having a discussion about it, the situation must not be as cut and dry as I imagined.

I'd like a follow-up tank, one that gives this one a little more context. Maybe a response from the other girl along the lines of, "Yeah, ever since the moon's currency weakened, it's been almost impossible to find jobs." Or, "Well, sure, because space suits make my hips look fat." I'll take pretty much anything, as long as it's an answer.

Forever 21 Life On the Moon Tank - $12.80


Remarkably stylish First Lady Michelle Obama has worn dresses by Thakoon several times in the past few years.

While surfing the dress section of ShopBop, I came across this Thakoon dress.

Is it wrong that I really, really want to see her wear this?

It's one of those dresses that exists solely for the runway, and the mental image of Michelle Obama sweeping into a room wearing it fills me with the kind of joy that only serves to remind me that yes, I am that easily amused.

Thakoon Draped Tidal Dress - $2,790

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Flat Foot Society

I've talked a lot recently about shoes I'm not a fan of, as well as shoes I like. So I'm not going to say much about these, because I'm getting a little burnt out on shoe talk.

I will say this, though: the soles are so flat, my arches hurt just looking at them.

Sigerson Morrison Bracelet Flat Suede Sandals with Back Zip - $395

We All Scream

Over time, there have been certain catchphrases that have rightfully earned their place on bumper stickers and graphic ts alike. "Make Love, Not War." "Hugs Not Drugs."

"Melt Ice Cream, Not Glaciers" will not be one of them.

Let's deal with the obvious, glaring error in this statement: no one should ever let ice cream melt. Ever. Unless you're six and you still find "soupy" ice cream a novelty.

I'm not saying that letting ice cream melt is a catastrophe on the level of global warming, but ... no, that's exactly what I'm saying.

If the message is that melted ice cream is a fair exchange for melting glaciers - putting melted ice cream on par with catastrophic climate change - then I want a t-shirt that says, "Screw The Polar Bears, Save the Sprinkles."

Delia*s Melt Sundaes Tee - $26.50

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Mistakes Were Made ...

I've been going through an insane domestic phase the last few days. It's partly a function of my being on Spring Break and feeling like I have too much time on my hands, and it's partly a function of being sick of the same three places my boyfriend and I always eat at. It used to be four ... RIP, Westwood Chili's.

What? Don't judge me, they had hot wings for 50 cents each, giving you a bucket of tasty for under $6.

Right. Anyway. So I've been going through an "I should cook!" phase, which mostly entailed my surfing through cooking blogs looking for macaron recipes. Then I stumbled upon a blog called Cupcakes and Cashmere.

Apparently I'm the last person on the internet to find this, as it recently won the 2010 Bloggies for Best Fashion Blog. And it really is amazing - gorgeous photographs of food and of pretty, pretty clothing. The kind of clothes that you see and want to buy, despite the fact that the price is more Barney's than Forever 21.

What sold me on the blog, though, was a series of pictures of the writer in this dress:

She actually styled it better than the good folks at ShopBop, which is no small feat. I stared at these pictures for at least five minutes before finally deciding: I must have this dress. I must.

Florals! But not in a cheesy, Tori Spelling on 90210 way.

It's flowy! It's girly! I can walk through the streets of LA in something other than a scoop-neck t-shirt, jeans, and Converse! I can go shopping on Robertson! This dress, I decided, would change my life. Upon wearing it, I would become stylish, fashionable, chic.

So I went to Madewell in Century City. It opened a few years ago, but I've always passed it by. Their window styling isn't particularly impressive, and glancing in, I never saw anything that really grabbed my eye.

It's not often I realize I've made a terrible fashion mistake. The last one was my prom dress, back before I realized that pastels are not my palette. But not having visited Madewell sooner ... that now ranks up there in my list of fashion mistakes.

I tried on, no joke, 15 dresses and tops. I bought a couple dresses - one of them was the floral dress above, the other was this dress:

I'm returning them both, but that's because the dresses look terrible on me, not because the dresses deserve to be returned. I may or may not cry as I hand them back to the cashier.

The fabric is soft and malleable and flowy. The cut's great. But no matter how many times the girls working in the store told me the dresses were great for girls "who are, y'know, big on top," it just doesn't work for me. I think the waist isn't cut high enough, so the dress just has a lot of excess fabric between my chest and my waist.

Either way, these dresses are going back to the store, but I hope they're taken in by a new owner who can fulfill all the fantasies I had about wearing these dresses. Don't worry about me ... I'll be fine. I'll just wait out this season until the cut switches to something a little more flattering.

But learn from my mistake: if you live in NY or LA, check out Madewell. If you don't have a nearby Madewell, they have part of their collection on the ShopBop website. Check it out. J.Crew may be like that elegant friend of yours who lives in heels and can actually wear a tie-neck dress, but Madewell is her younger sister who, every time you see her, looks effortlessly cool - the kind of deceptive effortlessness which gives you hope that you can do it, too.

Madewell Georgette Flutter Dress - $135

In the Club

This was submitted by Irene L. over on the Facebook fan page.

I get that this is probably "club wear," which falls into a whole other category of things I wouldn't wear, and I'm sure it's considered the height of stylishness at raves or something.

As a non-rave attending layperson, though, my thoughts on the top aren't particularly positive. Initially, I thought that the top reminded me of something an alien would wear on Star Trek. I think it's the neck collar.

But, the more I stared at it, the more concerned I became for the health and safety of the model, as it appeared the top was rebelling against the wearer and choking her. It kind of looks like the sleeve is reaching up and throttling the model, right?

Just me?

Well, even if I were one to wear clubwear (which I'm not, since the dress code for studying geology and sitting around my apartment is casual), I'd still steer clear of this top ... just to be safe.

ChicStar Sexy Asymetric One-Shoulder Top - $24.95

Monday, April 12, 2010

Forseen Fashions

As a result of writing this blog, I now have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of ugly fashions. After 300+ posts, I remember pretty much everything I've written about. Which is sad, given how much brain space is now devoted to remembering Forever 21's variations on unflattering dresses.

So when I came across these two dresses on ShopBop, they felt more than a little familiar

No, really familiar.

I feel a little bad for making fun of the Forever 21 dress - I thought this was just some random top they'd designed, but apparently they were just a season ahead of the curve. Their ripped dress even has studded embellishments, which actually makes it well worth it's price tag of $29.80.

The cat dresses, on the other hand ... I didn't get it when ModCloth was selling this maxi, and I don't get it now. Giant cat faces, people. On your torso. Even bedazzled, that doesn't make it better. It just makes it reflective and therefore safe for jogging at night.

Which is great, because the only time you should be wearing the a cat dress is at night. If no one sees it, great - they've been spared the mind-boggling confusion of why these dresses exist. If someone does see it, I feel like the "cat face emerging from torso" effect will be amplified by the low light.

Torn by Ronny Kobo Jenny Crystal Cat Tank Dress - $132
Cheap Monday Snake Cutout Tank Dress - $45

4 8 15 16 23 42

You know you watch too much Lost when ...

You see this t-shirt and your first thought is, "I wonder if they have a Team Smoke Monster?"

Delia*s Team Jacob Tee - $26.50

Friday, April 9, 2010

Just Like I'm On Dynasty

If ShopBop is any indication, a big trend this spring is dresses with one long, draped sleeve.

This trend would not work for me. It would swallow me whole.

I don't dislike it, though. No, if I could, I would wear these dresses all the time, specifically so I could punctuate statements with dramatic arm gestures.

"You must come visit us in the Hamptons this year. No, you simply must."

"Darling, trust me. There's nothing a good pool boy can't fix."

"It's like my third husband always said, 'Honey, did you drink all the gin?'"

A.L.C. Capelet Dress with Belt - $343 $240.10
Haute Hippie One Shoulder Swing Dress - $345
Issa Long Sleeve Long Dress - $734
Riller & Fount Fiona Mini Dress with Kimono Sleeve - $150
Alice & Olivia Elyse One Shoulder Dress - $330 $99

Friday Feets

I spend a lot of time shopping online for clothes and shoes. I also have this Amazon account where, if people buy through this site - or even click through to the products - I get money. So, yes, this is part of my ongoing attempt at actually managing to make some money off the internet.

But it's also a chance to post shoes. And does one really need an excuse for it?

So, here's my latest attempt: Friday Feet, the first installment.

First up: these Jessica Simpson flats. Like I said before, I tried really hard to hate Jessica Simpson's clothing and shoe lines, but I can't do it. Yeah, the giant bow is a little too precious for my taste, but I love the studs.

I actually got these the other day during a burst of "It's spring!" shopping. I bought them in pink from Boomingdales, but if you're interested in the black or white, they're available at by clicking on the image.

And finally ...

Yes. They're expensive. But I've become obsessed of late with finding a good pair of nude platform round-toe heels (I'm very specific), and these are the nude platform round-toe heels I've been dreaming of for weeks. These shoes are the reason I'm posting these shoes ... in the hopes that enough of you will click through and buy, so that I may click through and buy, and then wear these shoes everywhere, regardless of how appropriate it is.

So, there you have it. Friday Feets. Love it? Hate it? Should I delete the post and scrub all mention of it from the history books?

Let me know in the comments, via email, or on the fan page. And if you have any suggestions for next week's, pass them along, too.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Chad, The Performing Arts Major

Stella McCartney is high-end to the point where I don't know much about her designs. So, here is what I do know:

1. She designed clothes for BabyGap and GapKids, including a series of dresses so cute, they make me wish I were 11 years old. And I don't think I'm alone, given that all the XL and XXL sizes are sold out.

2. She doesn't use leather or fur in her designs, so Natalie Portman likes her a lot (I don't know how I know this).

3. She apparently designs a line of what appears to be costumes for performance artists.

Come on. Can't you just imagine that guy from your college wearing this? You know the one. His name's probably something like "Chad," he claims he's from New York City but he's actually from Westchester, and all the girls in his high school thought he was like, way deep. He would have been a beat poet 50 years ago, but since he can't do that, he does spoken word performance art in a turtleneck jumpsuit.

As a side note, this is wool. Wool. I feel hot and itchy just looking at it.

Stella McCartney Purple Wool Turtleneck Jumpsuit - $479.99

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Just Call Me Grumpy Bear

I always find it hardest to dress for spring. The weather shifts back and forth, it's warm in the sun but freezing in the shade, all your warm weather clothes are still packed away and you don't feel like going through it all.

And because of the flow of air currents, sometimes your upper midriff gets hot while your arms are freezing.

Don't give me that look, ShopBop Model Who Kind of Looks Like Amanda Peet. I'm just saying, the long sleeves and bare midriff make me wonder if you've got some weird heating issues.

Ooh, unless you're a Care Bear and you don't want to limit your abilities to participate in a good Care Bear Stare. In which case, ignore everything I've said about body temperature. It all makes sense now.

Porter Grey Tie Waist Shirtdress with Cutout - $385

Goodbye, My Coney Island Baby

Oh man, I'm so excited.

I've finally found the perfect jacket for my barbershop quartet.

AE Menswear Blazer - $49.50

Monday, April 5, 2010

A Message to the Pandas

Yes, I have a tendency to read too much into graphic tees. It's part of that whole "overanalyzing" thing that I do.

Look, Panda, I'm not going to argue with you about the cute thing. You're a panda. You're freaking adorable. You are giant balls of cuddle.

I'm not allowed near the San Diego Zoo any more because I once tried to hop the fence at the panda enclosure because I wanted to take a nap and use your stomachs as pillows.

Smarter, though? Yeah, that's up for debate. You subsist on a diet of bamboo, which is so low in nutrients that you have to eat 30 pounds of it a day, a tenth of your weight. This is in spite of the fact that you have big, sharp carnivore teeth and a happy carnivore digestive tract, all designed to allow you to eat tiny creatures full of nutrients.

Oh, and also, you don't know how to mate, so zookeepers have to show you panda porn, in what must be the most awkward birds and bees moment this side of my dad singing a song about sperm and eggs to my brother.

So yes, Panda. You may be cuter than I am, but smarter? Well, given the fact that I'm not currently in a zoo because I'm actually incapable of surviving in the wild, I'd say that match point is mine.

Forever 21 Cuter and Smarter Tee - $9.80

Parisian Panaché At A Price

I try to avoid commenting on expensive items purely because of their price tag. Some clothes are expensive, some are not, but they don't warrant criticism based solely on their price tag.

Or at least, that's what I thought, until I came across this cavalcade of Hermes beach towels on Bluefly.

Yes, these cotton terry beach towels are for sale on Bluefly at a very reasonable price of $477. According to the Bluefly description, with these towels you can "add a touch of Parisian panaché and sophistication to your day at the beach."

Man, if a towel with a couple tigers on it can do all that to a day at the beach, I wonder what my Jurassic Park: The Ride towel does? Maybe it adds terror and carnivorism to my day at the beach.

But the most important question is, now that you've bought this $500 beach towel, how will people know that you are lounging on a exorbitantly priced towel? Will they just sense the Parisian panaché and sophistication?

Ah. With a giant "Hermes" logo. Yeah, that'd do it.

Hermes Beach Towels - $530 $477

Friday, April 2, 2010

Short Knit Leggings

You know how, for the last few months, I've posted a few times about the 90s resurgence? And in a few of those posts, I mentioned that I wore a lot of bike shorts back when I was a kid.

Man, I am so glad that no one's bringing back bike shorts.

Wait a minute ....

Those short knit leggings look a lot like bike shorts.

In fact, if I saw someone wearing these on the street, I would probably exclaim "Whoa, look at those bike shorts!" Then she would have to respond with, "No, these are short knit leggings," and I'd feel terribly rude, and would then apologize for insulting her.

Unless ....

They actually are bike shorts, and Forever 21 is just trying to make us think they're innocuous by calling them "short leggings." Because "short leggings" sound much more sophisticated than "bike shorts."

I will say, their styling efforts just confirm that 90's Amanda was way ahead of her time, because I also wore bike shorts with a t-shirt and studded cowboy boots. Man, I was so cool.

Forever 21 Short Knit Legging - $4.90

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Eye Spy

In the past, I have claimed that a particularly busy pattern on a skirt or top reminds me of a Magic Eye picture.

I think that this dress actually is meant to be one.

Can you see it?

Frederick's Of Hollywood Drape Front Sublimation Dress - $49

J.Crew Can't Jump

Oh, J. Crew. A jumpsuit in your spring line? Really? Did you have to go there?

I mean, yes, at least this one seems to be fitted to the model, so that's a plus. And it's not baggy in weird places. But they still remind me of long johns, and I can't imagine they're practical. Do you get totally undressed when you have to use the restroom? Or do you just not drink anything all day long? Because, really, I think that's kind of unsafe as the temperature rises.

From behind, these look like really expensive coveralls. If I were making a movie right now about a rich girl who has to do manual labor, like house painting, she would totally wear this while doing it. Then the guy she's working with would roll his eyes and tease her about it, because he can't stand entitled, snobby girls, but in the end it would turn out that he loves her for who she is, with or without her money.

Hm. Does Reese Witherspoon still play ditsy? If not, what's Isla Fischer up to? I've got a jumpsuit for them to wear, and a blockbuster hit on my hands.

J.Crew Silk Linen Jumpsuit - $148