Monday, December 7, 2009

The Shadow Knows

I sometimes wonder if ModCloth stocks really ugly clothing in order to contrast with their otherwise great selection of clothes.

Stand as sassily as you'd like, Model. It doesn't change the fact that you're wearing sack pants.

Ah yes, sack pants. Pant so ill-fitting, they're intentionally gathered at the waist because of the excess of fabric. Pants with a low-hanging crotch and roomy thigh openings. Pants that start out as wide-legged, but then taper - yes, taper! - to skinny pants around the ankle.

The description on the site says that, when you're wearing these pants, "there won't be any reason for you to hide!"

I would beg to differ.

These pants leave you without any discernable butt. Seriously, how high is that rise along the back? I'd wager it's at least 11 inches, but that may be undershooting.

Keep in mind, a model is wearing these. A model. A girl paid to be thin. There is no reason these pants should do this to her. How many pounds have these pants added to her frame? They've given her average ass. That's right, average ass.

What is average ass? Well, it's what happens when you wear pants so ill-fitting, they make a model look like she has a normal woman's butt. Which isn't to say there's anything wrong with a normal woman's butt. However, think about what it would do to a normal woman's butt.

And now you can't unthink it. Let that be a lesson to you on why sack pants are not flattering.

You're welcome.

ModCloth Shadow Puppet Pants - $59.99

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