Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Professional

Sometimes, ModCloth's descriptions say more about an item of clothing than I ever could.

Like this dress, for example:

You're at your favorite bar, lingering over a chocolate-cherry martini after a long day at the office. You dangle a heel off the tip of your toe, and notice a stylish stranger smiling at you. You smooth the skirt of your inky black sheath, and cinch the patent belt a little tighter. There's no need to be self-conscious, because you know you look good - the cap sleeves accentuate your toned arms, the plum fabric that peeks out at the sweetheart neckline draws attention to your delicate decolletage, and the hidden side zip seals the deal. It's getting late to wait for your mystery admirer to make a move, so you pay your tab, clasp your clutch, and sexily saunter over. Just before exiting, you pull a business card out of the front pocket, slyly smile, and say, "Here's my card. Call me."

Is it just me, or does this sound like the description from a cheesy romance novel?

No, in all seriousness, I had no idea that high class call girls carried cards.

That's what the character in this description is, right? Because I can't imagine wearing a dress to work that scoops down under your breasts, like a harness, and then has special fabric only over your boobs, for maximum "Hey, look at my cleavage!"ness. I don't care what the description says; the neckline is not calling attention to your delicate decolletage. It's like a giant neon sign pointing to your breasts.

This dress wouldn't have made it on the site had the description been about a girl on a date - this isn't an awful dress, depending on the occasion. But I can't imagine this is a work-appropriate neckline - unless you're Serena from Gossip Girl, in which case, this dress is downright demure.


  1. I think my niece's cousin wore this to Thanksgiving. She's 16, so I give her a pass.

  2. How'd it look in real life? Sometimes the things I get all judgy about look way better in reality.